Alright, so I almost got myself killed last night. Around 3:30 AM we had a car accident with my friend. He was driving and appearantly he decided it was safe(!?) to take a tough turn at 95 KPH. First we slid to the right, then we slid to the left and crashed into the pavement, and a pole right after. Luckily I was wearing my seat belt and nothing happened to me. Not even a single bruise or a blood drop. My friend hit his head to the steering wheel at the crash but he's okay. We had to call a wrecker and they took the car to the Ford service (the car is a Ford Fiesta). It was such a bad crash that gave the car a damage cost around $6500. What I learnt last night is, it's time to give a break to street racing and drunk driving. Although I wasn't the one who was driving the car during the accident, it still affected me a lot. It also gave me a good reason to execute my "no alcohol for a year" challenge. I was gonna stop anyway since I'll start to attend my soccer team's practices again, so.. I'll be a good boy, at least for a while.

Hmm so, I have some good news too (: I bought my flight ticket to US. I'm flying on 20th August, from Istanbul to Chicago O'hare with a 12-hour direct flight. Pretty long flight.. Suggest some good songs for my Zune so I can enjoy the flight (:

Alright, so it's finally certain where I'm going to be spending 10 months starting from this August. Brookfield, Milwaukee, Wisconsin that is. My host family contacted me a few days ago and surprised me. I've been in contact with them since and they're all awesome. Especially my new brother Mark (: It sure seems like it'll be a fun experience to live with a new family as their new child for almost a year. New friendships, a new school, a new challenge with my new school's soccer team and all that.. Makes me excited for sure. I'll be attending the orientation camp for US starting tomorrow, ending on 28th. I probably won't be online during these 4 days.

Another good news is that I got to meet a dozen of Americans today. There are these American university students who came to my city to learn Turkish with a scholarship. My cousin called me yesterday and told me that these people needed local friends here and that the school who educates them is looking for volunteers. There was a room for one more, so I said I'd do it. They'll be here for 2 months, and I'll try to be with them pretty much all the time. I spent 5 hours with them today and it was really fun meeting new people, especially Americans. It'll be a good practice in Turkey with Americans in my last 2 months in Turkey before I go to US (: I also got some information about Wisconsin from them, and I liked what I heard, hehe.

Alright, see y'all soon. Take care everyone.

Okay so, I've made a great comeback to business since I've last written a journal. Somehow working makes me feel better and my projects are going very well currently so I'm happy. I got a call from ISE (International Services in Education - the association which gave me the scholarship for education in USA) this morning. They informed me that orientation camp was going to be held between 24-28 June at The Marmara Hotel in Antalya which is just 2 hours away from my town (: Pretty excited about it. Also, it's my last 3 months here in Turkey before I leave for USA. It'll be hard to leave my parents, my siblings (especially my baby sister) and best friends behind but I'm preparing myself for it, trying to enjoy my last 3 months here in Turkey. It's still not certain which state and school I'll be going to, I'm still trying to choose. It should be all clear within a month or so. That's about all for now. Take care everyone!

Lately I've been feeling as if I've gotten over it, but it seems it's coming back. Depression caused by this loneliness (still tryin' to get over my first love (bitch?) who betrayed me) simply kills all my productivity and creativity. I don't feel like doing anything right now. Because of depression, I have been delaying my web projects as well, and I'm going more and more down day by day. I almost haven't worked at all for last 4 months, which means I simply pushed approx. $40,000. It's not like I'm broke but I have many upcoming payments I gotta make, and I need to work really. I'm going to move to USA this August, and I'll have so many new expenses. The thing is, I'm an internet marketer, and trust me an internet marketer in depression is no good. I tried to write a sales letter a few days ago, it was like the worst I've ever written for last 2 years. I'm really fucked up, and am feeling like I'm deep into shit. It's not just my work the depression is affecting, I'm having problems with my family as well. I'm so agressive and angry all the time. My mom just asks a normal question and I answer yelling.. My grandma tries to help me, I scold her.. I try to take pictures to relax a little, all of them turn out to be crappy works.. In short, nowadays nothing is going right for me. Someone out there, please slap me and tell me to pull myself together..